"Show, don't tell" is the most repeated and least explained piece of writing advice. It does not mean never summarize, and it does not mean describe everything in slow motion. It means that at the moments that matter, the reader should experience the story rather than be informed of it. This guide explains what telling actually is, how to recognize it, four ways to turn it into showing, when telling is the right choice, and a worked rewrite. The last section shows how Quillen flags one common kind of telling, the stage-direction phrase, with its POV category.
The short answer
Telling states a conclusion ("Mara was nervous"). Showing gives the evidence from which the reader reaches the conclusion ("Mara checked the latch a third time"). Convert a tell into a show by asking what a reader would see, hear or feel that would make them think the conclusion. In Quillen, the POV category in Analyze Document flags stage-direction phrases such as "took a sip", "walked across" and "stood up", which are a common sign of flat, procedural telling.
What telling looks like
| Kind of telling | Example | What is missing |
|---|---|---|
| Naming an emotion | She was angry. He felt guilty. | The evidence of the emotion |
| Labelling a trait | He was a generous man. | A moment of generosity |
| Explaining motive | She left because she was afraid of him. | The reader working it out |
| Stage directions | He walked across the room and took a sip of tea. | Anything of interest happening |
| Info-dump dialogue | As you know, Bob, the Tollmaster sealed the road last spring. | A natural reason to say it |
| Summarizing a key scene | They argued, and she left. | The argument |
Four ways to turn telling into showing
1. Use action and gesture
Replace the label with what the character does. "She was angry" becomes "She set the cup down so carefully it did not make a sound." Gesture is strongest when it contradicts the words, as in a calm voice and shaking hands.
2. Use sensory detail
Choose the one or two senses that the character would notice in the moment. "The kitchen was frightening" becomes "The kitchen smelled of kerosene, and the knife block was missing one knife."
3. Use dialogue and subtext
People rarely say what they mean. Let a line carry two meanings: "Nice of you to come" can be warm or deadly depending on what surrounds it. Cut the tag that explains the emotion, and trust the line.
4. Dramatize the moment
Replace a summary with a scene. "They argued, and she left" becomes a scene with a goal, a conflict and an outcome (see how to write beat cards).
When telling is the right choice
Telling is a tool. Use it when you need to cover time quickly ("Three weeks passed"), when a scene would add nothing but length, when the detail is routine and the reader does not need to experience it, and when you want to move briskly between two important scenes. A good rule is to show what is important and tell what is not. A novel that showed every moment would be unreadable, and a novel that told every moment would be a synopsis.
The stage-direction trap
A particular kind of telling is the stage direction: a list of small physical actions that carry no meaning. "He walked across the room, sat down, picked up the cup and took a sip." Each action is visible, so this looks like showing, but nothing in it tells the reader anything about the character or the stakes. The fix is to keep only the movement that matters, and give it a reason: "He crossed the room without looking at her and drank his tea standing up, as if he might need to leave." Now the actions say something.
A worked rewrite
Before:
He walked across the dock and took a sip of his tea. He was nervous, but he didn't want her to know. He said he needed a boat. She could tell he was lying, so she was suspicious.
After:
He crossed the dock and drank his tea without sitting, though there was a bench. "I need a boat," he said, and glanced at the water instead of at her. She noticed the sealed crate under his coat, and the way his free hand stayed close to it.
The second version never says nervous, lying or suspicious, and the reader arrives at all three.
Common mistakes
| Mistake | Problem | Fix |
|---|---|---|
| Showing everything | Pace collapses | Tell the unimportant, show the important |
| Replacing an emotion label with a cliché | Still flat | Pick a specific, character-based detail |
| Showing the emotion and then naming it | Redundant | Cut the label |
| Over-describing gestures | Melodrama | One precise detail beats five |
| Stage directions with no meaning | Procedural prose | Keep only action that reveals something |
Do it in Quillen
Quillen cannot tell you whether a scene is showing or telling, because that depends on meaning. It can point at one of the most common signs: stage directions and procedural phrasing. That is the POV category.
- Open the scene and click Analyze Document.
- Find the POV chip (orange). It shows the percentage of your words in phrases such as brought it to his lips, walked across, took a sip, as you know and stood up, against a 2% guide. Our sample read 3.6%.
- Look at the orange underlines. Each is a place where a character is performing a procedure. Ask whether the action matters. If not, cut it. If it does, add the detail that makes it mean something.
- Check Filter and Vague too. Telling often travels with filter words (felt, realized) and "was" sentences. The filter words guide and the vague words guide cover them.
- Rewrite on the page. The text stays editable while highlights are on.
- Use Read aloud to check the new version flows.
POV and Filter are fiction categories. In a nonfiction book, the stats bar counts Hedging and Wordiness instead.
Checklist
- Important moments dramatized, routine ones summarized.
- Emotion labels replaced with evidence, then the label removed.
- Stage directions cut unless they mean something.
- No cliché standing in for a detail.
- Dialogue carrying subtext instead of tags that explain it.
Common questions
What does 'show, don't tell' mean?
At the moments that matter, give the reader the evidence for a conclusion instead of stating the conclusion. 'She checked the latch a third time' shows nervousness; 'she was nervous' tells it.
When is telling better than showing?
For passing time, routine details, and anything not important enough to dramatize. Show what matters and tell what does not.
What are stage directions in fiction?
A list of small physical actions that carry no meaning, such as 'He walked across the room and took a sip of tea'. They look like showing but reveal nothing.
What does Quillen's POV category flag?
Phrases such as took a sip, walked across, stood up and as you know, which often signal procedural telling. Its guide level is 2% of words.
Can Quillen tell me if a scene is showing?
No, because showing depends on meaning. The POV category points at one common sign, and you decide if the action matters.