Nonfiction has its own bad habits. Fiction writers over-explain with filter words and clichés; nonfiction writers hedge and pad. "It could be argued that perhaps the results are possibly somewhat unclear" says less than "The results are unclear", and wastes the reader's time saying it. Two kinds of fluff do most of the damage: hedging (words that soften or retreat from a claim) and wordiness (long phrases where short ones would do). This guide explains how to tell useful hedging from the empty kind, how to cut wordiness without losing precision, a before-and-after example, and how Quillen's nonfiction mode measures both.
The short answer
Keep a hedge when you are genuinely uncertain, and say exactly what you are uncertain about; cut it when it is habit. Replace wordy phrases with short ones ("because" for "due to the fact that", "to" for "in order to"). In Quillen, a nonfiction book's Analyze Document adds two categories: Hedging, with a 1.5% guide, and Wordiness, with a 1.5% guide.
Hedging: useful and useless
A hedge is a word or phrase that qualifies a claim: perhaps, possibly, arguably, to some extent, it could be argued, some might say. Hedging is not always bad. Science and careful argument depend on honest uncertainty. The problem is reflexive hedging, a hedge on every sentence out of caution or fear of being wrong, which makes a book sound unsure of everything.
| Useful hedge | Empty hedge |
|---|---|
| States what is uncertain and why: "The data from two studies suggest..." | Softens a claim for no reason: "This is perhaps somewhat important" |
| Applies to one claim that deserves it | Appears on every sentence |
| Gives the reader a precise limit: "in adults over 40" | Gives a vague limit: "to some extent" |
| Is followed by evidence | Is followed by nothing |
A good rule is to hedge once, precisely, where the uncertainty is real. State the claim, then state the limit. "Open plans reduce focus for analytic work; the evidence for creative work is mixed." The reader knows exactly how much to trust each part.
Common hedging phrases to question
| Phrase | Ask | Often becomes |
|---|---|---|
| It could be argued that | Who argues it? Do you? | State it, or name the person who argues it |
| Some might say | Who? Is it a real objection? | Name the objection and answer it |
| Arguably | Is there an argument? Give it | Delete, or give the argument |
| Perhaps, possibly | What is the probability? | State the evidence and the confidence |
| To some extent | Which extent? | Say how much |
| It seems that | Does it, or are you guessing? | State the observation |
Wordiness: say it in fewer words
Wordiness is the use of long phrases where short ones carry the same meaning. It is rarely deliberate: it creeps in when we write formally, or when we are filling space. Cutting it makes writing clearer and shorter without losing a thing. Some of the most common offenders:
| Wordy | Short |
|---|---|
| due to the fact that | because |
| in order to | to |
| at this point in time | now |
| the majority of | most |
| it is important to note that | (delete, and just say it) |
| needless to say | (delete) |
| in the event that | if |
| has the ability to | can |
| a large number of | many |
| for the purpose of | for, to |
Notice that some phrases ("it is important to note that", "needless to say") should simply be deleted. If something is important, saying it plainly shows that; if it is needless to say, do not say it.
A worked rewrite
Before:
It could be argued that open offices are arguably less productive, and some might say that perhaps focus matters more than collaboration. Due to the fact that noise is constant, the majority of workers, in order to concentrate, need silence. At this point in time, it is important to note that the research is possibly clear to some extent. Needless to say, a silent room helps.
After:
Open offices reduce productivity for focused work. Noise is constant, so most workers need silence to concentrate. Studies of office moves support this for analytic tasks; the evidence for creative work is mixed. A silent room helps.
The rewrite is less than half as long, says more and keeps a single, precise hedge where the evidence is genuinely mixed.
Don't swing too far
Cutting every hedge makes a book sound arrogant and can make it wrong. Scholarly and scientific writing needs honest qualification, and overstating a claim is worse than hedging it. The aim is not zero hedging but accurate hedging: confidence where you have earned it and caution where you have not. Likewise, not every long phrase is wordy: sometimes extra words add rhythm or emphasis. Judge by the sentence.
Common mistakes
| Mistake | Problem | Fix |
|---|---|---|
| A hedge on every sentence | The book sounds unsure of everything | Hedge once, precisely, where uncertainty is real |
| Stacking hedges ("perhaps possibly") | Meaningless | Choose one, or none |
| Removing every hedge | Overclaims, and may be wrong | Keep honest limits |
| Formal padding | Longer and slower | Use short forms |
| Deleting by rule, not by ear | Awkward, flat sentences | Read aloud and judge |
| Hedging to avoid a position | A book with no argument | State the claim, then the limit |
Do it in Quillen
In a nonfiction book, Analyze Document swaps two fiction categories (Filter and POV) for two nonfiction ones (Hedging and Wordiness).
- Open a chapter of your nonfiction book and click Analyze Document in the toolbar.
- Read the stats bar. Chips appear for Passive, Vague, Crutch, Adverb, Abstract, Cliché, Conjunction, Hedging and Wordiness, each with your percentage and a guide level. Hedging and Wordiness each have a guide of 1.5%. In our sample, Hedging read 15.1% and Wordiness 29.1%, far above the guide, because the text was deliberately padded.
- Look at the underlines. Hedging is underlined in teal: phrases such as it could be argued, some might say, arguably, perhaps, possibly and to some extent. Wordiness is underlined in brown: phrases such as due to the fact that, in order to, at this point in time, the majority of, it is important to note that and needless to say.
- Rewrite on the page. The text stays editable while the highlights are on. Delete the empty hedges, shorten the wordy phrases and keep any hedge that states a real limit.
- Run it again and click Clear Highlights when you are done. A natural chapter will rarely reach zero, and it should not.
For the full picture of every chip, see how to read the Analyze Document stats bar. The tool matches word patterns, so it cannot tell a useful hedge from an empty one: that decision is yours.
Checklist
- Each hedge checked: is the uncertainty real, and is the limit precise?
- Empty hedges deleted.
- Wordy phrases replaced with short ones.
- Phrases like "it is important to note that" deleted.
- Honest qualification kept where evidence is mixed.
- Result read aloud.
Common questions
What is hedging in writing?
Words or phrases that soften or qualify a claim, such as perhaps, possibly, arguably, to some extent and it could be argued. Honest hedging states a real limit; reflexive hedging makes writing sound unsure.
What is wordiness?
Using long phrases where short ones carry the same meaning, such as 'due to the fact that' for 'because' or 'in order to' for 'to'.
Does Quillen check hedging and wordiness?
In a nonfiction book, Analyze Document adds Hedging and Wordiness categories, each with a 1.5% guide, underlining the phrases and showing their share of your words.
Should I remove every hedge?
No. Honest qualification is part of good nonfiction. Aim for accurate hedging: confident where you have earned it, cautious where you have not.
Does Analyze Document change my text?
No. It underlines and counts. You decide what to cut.